Shopping in Tongues - Part 1

One of the very first things we did when we arrived in Russia was shop. Immediately upon unloading our luggage at our apartment I proceeded to find the nearest little shop and purchase the basic necessities of life; eggs, milk, bread, etc. Shopping for food over here has been one of the richer cultural experiences we have had thus far. My Russian is in the...um..."developing" stage which means I can grasp anywhere from about 20-50 percent of what's going on around me in everyday life. Yes, sometimes if the right combination of words are said I can understand everything, but currently I live in a state of having a perplexed look upon my face while I try to determine what verb of motion was just used and whether or not the word for "chicken" was just used in the genitive case.

On planet Yazoo City Cristy and I had shopping down to a science.

A. Load up the car with freezer bags and head off to Wal-Mart in Jackson or Madison.
B. Stock up on a month's worth of food.
C. Come home and load up the fridge freezer and cabinets.
D. Drop into Sunflower over the next month for milk, bread and eggs and "little" things.

Here on planet Russia things are a bit different. One has two choices of the manner in which he or she wants to buy food. First of all there are little shops where one can get items. Most of the time these are little hole-in-the-wall places that sell a little bit of everything. All of the items are behind a chest-high counter usually guarded by anywhere from one to three women. Anyone who wants a product or products will line up at the counter and when it is his turn he will tell the lady behind the counter what he wants...one product at a time. The lady will go and get the one product (everyone is still waiting in line), come back, ring it up and usually say the words "shto yesho" ("what more?"). One then proceeds to say the next item he wants. If he wants a cut of meat, everybody waits while the lady goes and gets the meat out, cuts it wraps it, rings it up and again asks, "shto yesho." When one is finally done he responds "vsyo" literally meaning "all." The final total is given, money is exchanged and the next customer is called upon.

There are a number of factors that make this type of shopping experience particularly exciting for the foreigner like me who is learning the language. First of all, just like in America, there are multiple brands of the same kind of product. Some people like Lays potato chips, some like Ruffles, and some like Pringles. On top of it all, there are plain potato chips, sour cream & onion, sea salt and vinegar...you get the picture.

So the fun begins while standing in line to order from the lady behind the counter. All the while I'm going through my list of items in my head. I want milk, bread, sour cream and some cheese. Now remember, the products are behind the counter, sometimes out of site. I know the basic items that I want, but I haven't the slightest clue as to which brand or style. Suddenly my turn arrives.

Thomas: "Hello"
Lady: unimpressed with my Russian "Hello"
Thomas: "I would like some milk please."
Lady: still unimpressed "What kind?"
Thomas: "It doesn't matter." (Note: thought this little phrase would save me some stress)
Lady: even less impressed "Doesn't matter? You've got to be more specific, what kind of milk do you want?"
Thomas: "Three percent"
Lady: annoyed "Which brand and what type?"
Thomas: "It doesn't matter."
Lady: rolling eyes while walking over to the milk. She brings it back and sets in on the counter ringing it up. "What else?"
Thomas: "I would like some sour cream."
Lady: perturbed "What kind?"
Thomas: "It doesn't matter."
Lady: Gives me a dirty look

I soon learned why the phrase "it doesn't matter" was not the best one to use. When I got back to the apartment after this little transaction I discovered that I had been given condensed milk. The packaging looked just like the regular milk with the exception of the Russian word for "condensed" on the front. Trust me, "condensed" is not one of the first words you learn when you learn Russian.

So there's one way to get your products. The next way is more like the "American" way which I will tell you about in part two of this exciting drama.