A cry in the night

There's nothing like being awakened from a sound, coma-like sleep at 5:00am (or earlier) by the frantic cries of your child. Sometimes the cry is obviously one that can be "ignored" as a cry that will soon disappear. Other times the cry is not as easy to figure out, like this morning, for instance. Let me elaborate, as briefly as possible, I promise. Sunday morning about 5:30am Isaiah let out a terrified cry that set my heart racing. I went into his room to check on him to discover him cold and, I think, scared. I took him into our room (I didn't want to have to clean off the extra bed in his room), and he snuggled in and went back to sleep while still whimpering a bit. It was clear that something was wrong.
This morning at 4:56am Isaiah began to cry again. This time I couldn't tell what was wrong. I stood outside his door for a few minutes, knowing that as soon as I entered his room all hope was lost of him returning to sleep on his own. He stopped crying. I went back to bed. Ten minutes later he started crying again. I remained in bed this time for a few minutes, listening to my baby on the monitor. After 5 minutes or so, he stopped crying. Ten minutes later he began crying again. This time the crying had intensified to high-pitched squeals that could have been pain. After getting advice from my husband (making this decision at 5:30 in them morning is never easy), I went to check and make sure that Isaiah wasn't in a position in the bed that he couldn't change (this happens occasionally--he'll be sort of stuck against the side of his bed, and once moved, he'll stop crying and go to sleep). Well, I peeked in, trying desperately not to be noticed by my ever-vigilant 17 month old. Nothing doing. He was in a slightly awkward position, but I don't think that was the problem. He actually didn't notice me at first, but rather he heard the door close, I believe. He continued to cry. I couldn't hold out any longer.

(Sidebar--for those of you who are wondering what kind of a mother I am for letting him cry it out, I just have to say that that method has worked well for us, and until recently Isaiah has been sleeping really, really well. In the last week or two there have been some random occasions such as the one that I am describing to you.) Back to the facts...

I took Isaiah into our room. He had the "crying hiccups" (for lack of a better word) for several minutes before I felt his body relax back into sleep. His breathing was still slightly troubled, but nothing in comparison to before. A while later, maybe 15 minutes or more, he began crying in his sleep, even though I was holding him. At this point I became convinced that he was having a nightmare or some type of bad dream. I felt so helpless. I tried to comfort him and pray with him and asked Thomas to pray, too. I didn't know what else to do, and finally he calmed again to sleep for an hour and a half, I suppose.

I was thinking about this today, trying to decide what to do if/when this happens again. As I was thinking about it, I was again struck with the utter helplessness that I felt in wanting to do what was best for Isaiah, but having no idea really what that was. I started to think about how as parents we often give our children a picture of Who God is (don't worry, I'm going to be careful here!). By being trustworthy and good to our children, we can help them learn faster and better that they can trust God and that He will always do what is best for them (as we are teaching them about Him, of course). I am thankful that even though I don't know what is best for Isaiah in this situation, that God does. I pray that He will help me to know what to do. I pray that He will reveal Himself to Isaiah. I am thankful that God isn't up in heaven looking down and feeling helpless like me. Praise God for His sovereign wisdom and care for His children.